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Over the years, religion has taught us to live two lives: one which everyone sees and another that we keep hidden - the real us, who we are when we’re alone. So many of us never share our real lives with others, and this is killing us. Yet, the Bible is very clear that our visible life should be congruent with our inner life. If it doesn’t, we’re being hypocrites.

How do we get away from this? Read Acts 2:41-47. The early believers met in homes, made time for one another and shared their lives together. They felt like a family and there was a natural attraction to them. They had community. And, out of that community arose signs and wonders and many people were saved every day. You see, in order to experience real Christianity, we have to have real fellowship - not just the sitting around talking at a coffee shop kind of fellowship, but the kind that fosters real, genuine, deep relationships where we can truly open up and share what’s going on inside.

For this we need authenticity. Authenticity means that something is what it claims to be. Unfortunately, we live in a world where it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not. This is just as true with people. You have to get real close to tell what’s real and what’s not. From a distance, you just can’t tell. So many people live a fake life to impress others. They won’t let anyone get too close for fear of being exposed, and so, never truly become authentic Christians. Instead, they spend their whole lives trying to manage an inauthentic image.

Think of our lives like an iceberg. The visible part - that is, what everyone else sees - is only the top ten percent. This is where we show our best - in our family, church, career, possessions, accomplishments, etc. But look at the other ninety percent - the real us which remains hidden below the surface. This is where we hide things like the truth about our marriage, financial condition, relationship issues, sexual life, areas of suffering and so on, not to mention anger, pride, discouragement, disillusionment, depression, guilt, shame, suicidal thoughts and more.

Most people, having no community in which to deal with life’s issues, spend all of their time and energy just managing what’s below the surface to keep it hidden. But it’s what’s below the surface that can sink your ship and kill you. And, think of this; if you’re focused on managing your sin, you can’t fulfill God’s purpose in your life.

Truthfully, we all have stuff hidden below the surface in our lives - mainly because we haven’t been taught to live in community. But the good news is that Jesus wants to set us free. He wants us to bring our hurts, failures and flaws out into the light of authentic community where we can deal with them. Confession is essential to healing. We can walk around forgiven, but we’ll remain unhealed if we don’t confess to one another.

To confess, we need authentic fellowship. Yes, we actually have to speak to other people about our stuff. It’s the only way to get our feelings and struggles out into the light. This means we have a little maturing to do. If we’re going to have authentic fellowship, we need:

Safe environments where it’s safe for us to come clean, to confess. We have to be able to talk openly and be non-judgmental, willing to listen, caring/loving, forgiving, willing to help/get involved and discrete. And we have to speak the truth in love.

A willingness to be vulnerable. When you open up and confess, you bring things to the light and that’s where God is. It’s the devil that lives in the darkness. The only way we’re ever going to be free of anything - whether sexual sin, alcoholism, drugs, etc. - is if we’ll humble ourselves and confess.

The desire to change. The purpose of getting things out in the light is so that we can change. It doesn’t do any good to just talk about something. You have to really want to change. And because we just can’t do it on our own, if we really have a desire to change, we will get in a small group.

We need others around us in safe authentic relationships. Think of exercising, dieting or any other change of habit or lifestyle. We do much better when someone is there helping us. How much more so do we need them for our deeper issues?!

So let me ask you, what are the top two or three areas in your inner life that need to change? What are you going to do about them? Are you just going to keep on keeping them to yourself? Are you just going to talk about changing them? Or, will you pursue the life-changing power of authentic fellowship? Once you have authentic fellowship, you really will change - and not just yourself, but everyone around you as well!

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