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In most churches in America today, singles now make up a larger percentage than those who are married, and that percentage is growing. People are waiting longer and longer to get married.  In fact, in our culture, there is a very big push away from traditional marriage – defined as one man and one woman in a committed, monogamous relationship for life. It is starting to be seen as unnecessary, archaic or inconvenient. Additionally, there are literally hundreds of thousands of people have grown up into a fear of marriage. They’ve seen the awful things that can happen in marriages and divorce, and don’t want to commit to it.

Now, if you’re single, and fully dedicated to the Lord, it can be a great time. And, there are some people who can remain that way happily for the rest of their lives without struggling with sexual desires. However, for the majority of us, God has intended for us to be able to have sex within a marriage covenant. The problem is that if we don’t get married but still have sexual desires, there is a strong push to have sex outside of marriage. And this is where we’ve gotten into trouble. The world tells us to express our sexual desire however we want. But this is a tragic mistake leading not only to physical consequences like sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, but even more so to emotional and spiritual consequences like overwhelming struggles with guilt and shame. God wants us to live free from that stuff!

Okay, we know that sex belongs in marriage, but how do we live as singles until we are married? First, we need to know that God is holy, He wants us to be holy but He doesn’t just leave us there – He’s given us a lot of things in His Word to help us live holy. Also, we need to know that there are three things that fight hard against us living the life God intends. We have to fight the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life – pride ultimately leads to our downfall.

So, how do we live a pure life? How do we overcome these lusts and pride? There are four keys that with God’s help will enable every person, whether married or single:

1. Humility.  This is the key to freedom. For many of us, the reason we slip back into sin is because we think we can handle it. Humility is the place of entire dependence on God; pride is the place of entire dependence on self.
2. Accountability. Requires humility. Whenever we operate outside of accountability, we’re going to fall. I believe the reason that there’s so much heartache and divorce is because one or both of the people in the relationship stopped being accountable.
3. Boundaries.   God establishes boundaries in our lives – started in the Garden of Eden with the tree. Beware: Satan always comes in and questions what God has said, trying to bring down the boundaries in our lives.
4. Commitment.  Don’t do dating, do courtship. Dating is about breaking commitments. In courtship, the goal is a healthy committed marriage and the mindset is to preserve ourselves physically until that marriage.

God has a better plan for the singles than the world does. The question is whether you want to experience the hurt, bondage, guilt and shame of doing things according to the world’s way or to walk in the blessings and peace of doing things God’s way. The choice is yours. I urge you to choose life and freedom!

(There’s a lot more to this teaching than what I’ve written here, including the Top 10 Reasons Why People Wait so Long to Get Married, check out this week’s message. You can listen/watch online or download it here.)