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Nearly 700 men came out on a sunny Saturday morning to enjoy a pancake breakfast and talk about a subject that could actually take away your appetite: Pornography.

As breakfast got underway, comedian David Dean lightened the mood with some good humor explaining the secret to a happy life and marriage…you have to giggle…a lot…at yourself. In the midst of the humor, he brought a good message: Your giggle, the joy in your heart, could be your greatest testimony.

Next, Craig Gross, Pastor and Founder of XXXchurch.com, a.k.a. “the porn pastor,” told the story behind XXXchurch.com. It started because he wanted to create a safe place online where people could get the truth about porn and get help.

Then, Gross continued by candidly speaking about the issue of pornography and sexual addiction. He said, “What you’re looking at online will eventually take you offline. You can never get enough.” He exposed the lie that no one is really hurt by porn. “The truth,” he said, “is that there are people that are hurt by this stuff – the consumers, their wives and families and the models and producers as well.”

Gross said, “This issue is very progressive. Once you get into it, you keep having to get a little more, and soon, that’s not enough, and you have to go deeper and deeper to get the same thrill. Unfortunately, most of the time people with this issue don’t even want to get help, at least not until they’ve hit rock bottom. Pornography is a very selfish thing; it pleases no one but self.”

Closing out his segment, Gross listed six ways to ruin your life:

1. Fight temptation with willpower – we’re men, aren’t we?!
2. Believe this lie: “just a little porn is okay.” “It’s just______.” “porn training wheels” You can’t delete the images from your mind. It’s progressive, you’ll want more and more.
3. Spend more time online and less time in God’s Word.
4. Wing it when it comes to your integrity. “Looking once means I’m alive; looking twice means I’ve dissed my wife.” We’ve got to address our issues before they take us out.
5. Go solo. Joining up with others, opening up don’t come naturally to guys. Never met anyone who’s gotten over a problem with porn by themselves. Use X3watch.
6. Believe this lie: “If you fail, just give up.”

Next up, Donny Pauling, a.k.a. Donovan Phillips, ex-porn producer, shared this powerful

testimony:

Raised a pastor’s son, he grew to hate the people in the churches, which were very legalistic. It seemed like everything was wrong. From his perspective, God wasn’t fun and kept people from having fun. People in church were hypocrites. Then, he met a “real” Christian girl and started pretending in order to keep their relationship going. He became the very thing he had grown to hate: a hypocrite.

Pauling started producing porn secretly after he got married, doing it behind his wife’s back for three years, making tons of money. Eventually, he ended up cheating on her and when he confessed to her all that he was doing, it effectively ended their marriage.

He said, “I watched the light go out of a whole lot of [girls’] eyes right before me.” The models’ lives usually fell apart. Even free sites contribute to the trail of broken lives. “Still, I proudly told former church “friends” that I was a porn producer,” he said, “defending myself by saying that if there was no demand, there would be no supply.”

Over time, however, hearing story after story of people’s lives being destroyed and broken, it started to get to him. Then he saw the xxxchurch.com booth at a porn convention. As he began interacting with Craig Gross and his team, Pauling saw them showing unconditional love to himself and others. And this blew away his paradigm. He could no longer justify his hatred of Christians.  His heart started softening. He even started praying. When offered an amazing contract by Playboy, he gave thanks to God, and then immediately knew how petty it was. He started trying to bargain with God, but then he knew his porn career was over; that he couldn’t do it anymore. He hadn’t yet given his life to God, but he just  couldn’t pick up his camera. A few months later, he realized he needed to start trusting God, and gave his life to Christ.

Although they had gotten divorced, Pauling had continued to support his ex-wife. While he had been producing the porn, he was living lavishly and hadn’t saved any of the money. So when he quit, he lost pretty much everything. He was completely blown away with gratitude and humility that during this time, the xxxchurch people started supporting him, and his wife’s bills never went unpaid. After a period of detox, his ex-wife began to share with him how God helped her through the pain.

Now Pauling has started a new business, and his ex-wife actually works for him, and sometimes they talk of reconciliation. He continues to receive letters of support and encouragement through the xxxchurch.com site, as well as from others seeking his help. He also regularly gets letters from some of his former models whose lives are still being ruined by their past. He read one of these by a former photo-only model. The pictures that he had take in the past are still haunting and destroying her life. She was desperate and there isn’t really anything he can do. He stated this poignant truth, “Nobody in the [porn] business ends up being grateful for being involved.”

Pauling closed with this exhortation: “If you’re struggling with porn, know that God has a purpose for your life. After He gets you free, He’ll use you to minister in others’ lives. Come clean to God so He can come along side of you. If God can get me free, He can get you free. No one is hopeless!”

Pastor Dennis concluded the morning saying, “This has been one of the major issues that I’ve seen men have to deal with over the years that I’ve been a pastor – sexual bondage was a huge issue in my life when I came to the Lord. We need to have accountability in our lives. Accountability is being regularly answerable about the issues in your life to someone who is qualified to help you. Every guy needs to have at least one or two guys that they’re accountable to – guys who will ask the hard questions. Porn is no respecter of persons – it doesn’t matter who you are – it is taking people down from every walk of life. I want to challenge every one of you guys to get an accountability partner if you don’t already have one. We’ll only be accountable to the degree we want to be accountable. If you want to be free you’ve got to be truly accountable. No one can go it alone. God wants to set captives free and deliver us from demonic strongholds. He wants to set our lives on a course of purity!”

On September 5th and 6th a group of Victory men attended Men’s Advance themed, Band of Brothers: No Man Down. Hosted by Pastor Dennis and special guest speaker Chip Judd and held at the beautiful Simpsonwood Retreat Center, this Men’s Advance included four power-packed sessions and an Extreme Rescue Mission that gave us the tools we need to help keep ourselves and our brothers from becoming the “man down”.

All of us, from different walks of life, came together to be challenged and equipped spiritually, mentally and physically to effectively deal with those areas in which the enemy attacks hardest and has had the most success in taking men out. We had times of dynamic worship, challenging instruction and open, honest sharing. Of course, we also enjoyed fellowship, building relationships with other guys and good food.

The Extreme Rescue Mission consisted of a number of team-based physical challenges which forced team members to rely on one another and cooperate in order to succeed. It was a lot of fun and at the same time, provided an excellent interactive illustration of principles learned during the teaching sessions. One of the guys, Pete, had this to say: “The messages from Chip and Pastor Dennis were right on. The challenges were a lot of fun. Every man at Victory should take advantage of this great opportunity and attend Men’s Advance in the future. It’s truly life-changing! I can’t wait until the next one!” (If you attended this event and were impacted by it, we would love to hear your story. Please submit it here.)

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There were quite a few photos taken at the event. If you’d like to view the entire gallery, download photos or order prints, click here.